House of Stink

House of Stink

Advertiser: Are you there, ladies? As a radical feminist I am reaching out to those all too many women who have been sexually harassed in the workplace. But don’t despair. Here at House of Stink we’re doing something about it. Fed up with all that groping and sexual innuendo? You don’t have to be. Why not try our latest even stenchier creations?

First up is our Rotten Eggs No 5. Ever popular No 4 was a great hit. But our yet more improved Mark 5 is even better. Chantelle-Marie, a secretary from Luton, wrote in to us to say this: ‘Rotten Eggs is really fantastic. On my first use guys were retching up to ten metres away. I’m definitely going to be a regular user’. Thanks Chantelle.

Or how about our l’essence d’ordure naussée ? This is Melissa’s testimony.: ‘Ordure nausse´e really works. It kept the sex beasts right off. They even congratulated me. One said “Melissa you smell awful”. Thanks guys’ And thanks to you Melissa.

Then there’s our Wet Dog Concentrated Plus. Tested in our scientific laboratories, we do a two-for-one in attractive multi-faceted rose coloured bottles. This will sit well on any girl’s dressing table! A more delicate odour but now laced with enhanced really foul smelling 100% organic annoyed skunk squirts it’s a winner! Makes a great Christmas or birthday present. Your girl friends will be eternally grateful.

But we’ve kept the best till last! Guaranteed to keep off even the pushiest locker-room boasting Trump voting sex bully, our new Rotting Sheep de Pyrenées is sweeping all before it. Guaranteed to be sourced from carcasses that have been rotting for at least a month on our farms in the foothills of the Pyrenees, RS is simply superlative. A grateful Emma reports ‘Wow! My boss tried to offload extra work onto me outside my paid hours and he was so overcome he fainted. Rotting Sheep is a really really disgusting stench. Hold your noses, guys! Works a treat.’

So how about it ladies? Buy all 4 and get one free!

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