Is it going to rain? Don’t think so. I think I might just venture out. Quark! Quark! Ferdinand won’t – Thwit! Schlurp Schlurp ugunk! Delicious – Ferdinand won’t fertilize my eggs. He says I’m not sexy he doesn’t think I’m slimy enough. I don’t care. Silly old croak. Quark! Quark! To think that a year ago I was mad about him. I ‘d have done anything for him. I thought he was absolutely the toad’s toenails. Mad – Good morning Waterboatman yes I think it will stay fine – Mad. Sex is over-rated anyway. Thwit! Schlurp Schurp – Sex is always over-rated but never will it be outdated my uncle Phil the Phenomenal Fucker used to say but my mother always maintained he was a sex maniac because he was deprived of love as a tadpole. I don’t think he was right – oh there’s a dragonfly is it one of ours? No maybe not – I read in Freddie the Frolicker’s column in Frogmail that in a survey people were asked if they had to choose between giving up sex and giving up a nice bluebottle dressed with water forget-me-not salad 85% said sex. So that tells you something doesn’t it? I must have been mad. I expect his sperm is grade B anyway. What I’ve been saved from! When you love just bear in mind That sex deceives and love is blind. Well that’s certainly true. Thwit! Schlurp Schlurp Mmmmm! That was nice. Quark! Oh Quark! Imagine how boring life with – Oh no! It’s one of the frogs from Loftus Road. Quick. Behind this leaf. We don’t talk to them. They’re interlopers, asylum seekers. I read all about it in Frog Mail. The pond in Loftus Road has dried up so they’re all migrating here. (cautiously from behind leaf) Go away! Get lost! Go back to where you came from (sticking out tongue from behind leaf). Eating up our flies and breathing our oxygen! It’s not our fault that the pond – Good morning again Waterboatman we meet again Qu’k Qu’k Qu’k yes I think it will stay fine – in Loftus Road dried up. Mad. I was mad. Damn. Missed it. It’s all that Loftus Road frog’s fault. Quark! Quark! Mad. A lifetime with Ferdinand! What a narrow escape. I – think – I’ll – just – go down – to the end- of – the – pond and see – if I – can – catch – a fly. Yawn Yawn. What a narrow escape. No just us girls together Thwit! Schlurp Schlurp Nice hot rock. Sunning ourselves. Luscious bluebottles in plentiful supply. Sex you can keep it. Oh! Oh! Oh! my heart’s a flutter. It’s Ferdinand! Oh what can I do What can I do? Control yourself. Ferdinand! Ferdinand! Puff out cheeks. Squat upright on rock. Nice smile. Slimy wriggle. Good morning Ferdinand! Fancy seeing you. I didn’t expect to see you. Good morning Ferdinand. . Quark! Quark! Quark!