When Sebastian kept on and on about how wonderful Tolle is I stubbornly resisted him, perhaps itself an example of what Tolle calls the pain-body. It means an addiction to sadness. It says so much more than the social workers’ ‘low self-esteem’ (feminists on Loose Women bragging about their low self-esteem), because it catches the way we fondle and clutch and jealously guard our misery. Perhaps even more common is a kind of pain-body in reverse. We brag and boast and impose because inside there is a little child still hugging, as if for dear life, its low self-esteem, instead of saying ‘hello world, here I am’.