Long lines of baboons begging for sex
I once went to Mass in St Peter’s. They should sell the Vatican to Branson and give the money to the poor. St Peter’s was built on the scandal of indulgences and is a monument to the worldiness of the Catholic Church. But Branson would love it. Imagine how much people would pay to have breakfast in the Sistine Chapel. Anyway on this occasion it was as about as non-Vatican 2 as you could get. The congregation was miles from the action and took no part. But through Bernini’s marvellous barley sugar baldacchino you could see in the distance long lines of cardinals wearing red zuchettas with their heads bowed in prayer. It looked like nothing so much as a long line of female baboons begging for sex. Cardinals and bishops should move out of their palaces and abandon their red and purple togs (for the New Testament tells us that only kings wear purple and live in palaces) which they only wear because a long time ago bishops were magistrates in the late Roman Empire. Though, of course, if instead they wore rags to remind them that Jesus was a poor man they’d soon start wearing rags made of cloth of gold. Time for a little prudent updating? Dressed like doctors and nurses perhaps?